Hey... do you think we can export to them? Does Mars need bonds? Bwahhahahahaha...

Guardian : Is the United Nations about to appoint Malaysian astrophysicist Mazlan Othman as the ambassador to extraterrestrial intelligences? Yesterday, the Sunday Times published an article claiming that Othman is expected to announce her proposed new role at a meeting of the Royal Society next week. According to the article, the plan to make Othman and the UN's Office for Outer Space Affairs which she heads, the first point of contact will be debated by UN scientific advisors before heading to the general assembly. Turns out though that the newspaper, and dozens of other media outlets that rewrote the same story, may have jumped to some conclusions. Today, Othman emailed The Guardian, "It sounds really cool but I have to deny it."

'Until such time as planet Earth learns to export to Mars, every national surplus must be offset somewhere else with a matching deficit.'
-Jim Stanford

'And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space, 'Cause there's bugger all down here on Earth.'
-Monty Python

'Where's the kaboom? There was supposed to be an earth-shattering kaboom!'
-Marvin the Martian

'The US Airforce assures me that UFO's pose no threat to National Security.'
-President John F Kennedy

"I looked out the window and saw this white light.It was zigzagging around. I went up to the pilot and said,Have you ever seen anything like that? He was shocked and he said, "Nope." And I said to him: "Let's follow it!" We followed it for several minutes. It was a bright white light.We followed it to Bakersfield, and all of a sudden to our utter amazement it went straight up into the heavens. When I got off the plane I told Nancy all about it."
-President Ronald Reagen (Describing his 1974 UFO encounter to veteran newsman Norman C. Miller, then Washington bureau chief for the Wall Street Journal.)

'I'm not at liberty to discuss the governments knowledge of extraterrestrial UFO's at this time. I am still personally being briefed on the subject"
-President Richard M. Nixon

"The phenomenon of UFOs does exist, and it must be treated seriously."
-Mikhail Gorbachev

From the UK Telegraph:

Aliens have landed on earth, infiltrated British and American nuclear missile sites and sabotaged weapons, according to US Air Force officers.

The beings have repeated their efforts in the US and have been active since 1948, the men said, and accused the respective governments of trying to keep the information secret.

The unlikely claims were compiled by six former US airmen and another member of the military who interviewed or researched the evidence of 120 ex-military personnel.

The information they have collected suggests that aliens could have landed on Earth as recently as seven years ago.

The men's aim is to press the two governments to recognise the long-standing extra-terrestrial visits as fact.

They are to be presented on Monday 27 September at a meeting in Washington.

One of the men, Capt Robert Salas, said: "The US Air Force is lying about the national security implications of unidentified aerial objects at nuclear bases and we can prove it."

He said said he witnessed such an event first-hand on March 16, 1967, at Malmstrom Air Force Base in Montana which housed Minuteman nuclear missiles.

Capt Salas continued: "I was on duty when an object came over and hovered directly over the site.

"The missiles shut down - 10 Minuteman missiles. And the same thing happened at another site a week later. There's a strong interest in our missiles by these objects, wherever they come from. I personally think they're not from planet Earth."

Others claim to have seen similar activity in the UK.

Col Charles Halt said he saw a UFO at the former military base RAF Bentwaters, near Ipswich, 30 years ago, during which he saw beams of light fired into the base then heard on the military radio that aliens had landed inside the nuclear storage area.

He said: "I believe that the security services of both the United States and the United Kingdom have attempted - both then and now - to subvert the significance of what occurred at RAF Bentwaters by the use of well-practised methods of disinformation."

The site was then the base of the US 81st Tactical Fighter Wing.

Capt Bruce Fenstermacher, a former US Air Force officer, also claims he saw a cigar-shaped UFO hovering above a nuclear base in Wyoming in 1976.

Story #2

Six retired officers and one former non-commissioned officer claim to have gathered witness testimonies from more than 120 military personnel revealing the infiltration of nuclear sites by aliens as recently as 2003.

In some cases, nuclear missiles supposedly malfunctioned while a disc-shaped object hovered nearby.

Captain Robert Salas, a former Intercontinental Ballistic Missile Launch officer, said he was on duty during one missile disruption incident at Malmstrom Air Force Base in Montana in 1967.

“An object came over and hovered directly over the site,” he said.

“The missiles shut down – 10 Minuteman missiles. And the same thing happened at another site a week later. There’s a strong interest in our missiles by these objects, wherever they come from.

“I personally think they’re not from planet Earth.”

He said he was ordered to never discuss it: “The US Air Force is lying about the national security implications of unidentified aerial objects at nuclear bases and we can prove it.”

Colonel Charles Halt said he watched Unidentified Flying Objects directing beams of light into RAF Bentwaters airbase near Ipswich and heard on the radio that they landed in the nuclear weapons storage area.

Col Halt said: “I believe that the security services of both the United States and the United Kingdom have attempted – both then and now – to subvert the significance of what occurred at RAF Bentwaters by the use of well-practised methods of disinformation.”

Story #3

The group of officers said they would distribute declassified government documents on Monday that would prove there had been alien interference at nuclear weapons sites stretching back to 1948.

Robert Hastings, a long-time UFO researcher, who collated the information, said at a press conference in Washington that “this planet is being visited by beings from another world who for whatever reason have taken an interest in the nuclear arms race”.

He claimed to have gathered witness testimony from more than 120 military personnel showing infiltration of nuclear sites. Six retired officers and one former NCO spoke of their personal experiences.

In some cases, nuclear missiles supposedly malfunctioned while a disc-shaped object hovered nearby. Although the officers produced fresh affidavits detailing their experiences, the incidents, many of them the 1960s, had previously been publicised by UFO enthusiasts. Some of them were first disclosed decades ago.

Mr Hastings stated that beings from UFOs had also tinkered with Soviet nuclear weapons and speculated that the aliens had been seeking to send “a sign to Washington and Moscow that we are playing with fire”.

Captain Robert Salas, a former US Air Force Inter-continental Ballistic Missile Launch officer, said he was on duty during one missile disruption incident at Malmstrom Air Force Base in Montana in 1967 when a “large glowing, pulsating red oval shaped object” hovered over the front gate.

He then noticed that the Minuteman missiles he was overseeing had shut down. “The indicators for all or nearly all 10 missiles showed as red-coloured ’fault’ lights, which meant that the missiles were disabled and could not be launched.”

He said he was ordered not to discuss the matter but was never given an explanation by his superior officers.

In another case in Britain, Colonel Charles Halt said that in 1980 he watched a UFO directing beams of light down into the RAF Bentwaters airbase near Ipswich.

His security team “observed a light that looked like a large eye, red in colour, moving through the trees”. After a few minutes “this object began dripping something that looked like molten metal. A short while later it broke into several smaller, white-coloured objects which flew away in all directions.”

Sceptics pointed out that there was a lighthouse nearby but Col Halt maintains that the objects were “extraterrestrial in origin” and that “the security services of both the US and the UK have attempted – both then and now – to subvert the significance” of what happened near Ipswich.