Roseanne Roseannadanna issues 2009 predictions

Mrs. Richard Feder from Fort Lee, New Jersey writes in and says:

'Dear Roseanne Roseannadanna,

Mr. Feder has lost half of our money due to Bernie Madoff and I need to hide what is left. Should I buy gold or a CD. If I buy gold and the markets crash will gold go up or down? If a CD, and the dollar crashes will a higher interest rate offset the lower dollar?'

Mrs. Feder I didn't think it was possible but you are just as stupid as your husband, but I know exactly what you are thinking cause I Roseanne Roseannadanna lost money with Bernie too.

Imagine if you will a teeny,tiny, teenage Roseanne Roseannadanna, cute as a little doll, going to prom with a boy named Scott Sosnik. 20 years later I'm in Fort Lee, New Jersey at a Starbucks hoping I don't run into either you or Mr. Feder and seeing Scott ordering a triple something. Well we got to talking and well he was honest, and I love honest ... honest talk, honest books, honest people, and most of all honest investments. I hate it when people do these tricks and make themselves look like real great investors, with fancy cars and suits and offices and little kerchiefs and shiny shoes and stuff.

So anyway I'm like at Scott's office and I don't know why but quess who walks in but Bernie Madoff. Kind of a smurfy looking guy and he's carrying like a bunch of books.
Anyway after I Roseanne Roseannadanna finished investing most of my money with Scott and went back to my car guess what, when that cutey Bernie left his car which was, not to fancy either, parked next to mine he dropped one of them books! It was long black and perfect and I thought I was gonna die. And just between you and me Roseanne Roaseannadanna I saw your name in it.

It just goes to show you it's always something, if it's not one thing, it's another, if you don't know who you are investing with or in then you need to do it yourself.

Gold over a CD? No then yes, yes then no then yes.
Gold and markets crash? Up or down? Yes, but down before up.
CD.. dollar crashes will a higher rate offset the lower dollar? No then yes.

Have a pleasant tomorrow.